I am, as I say, embarking on a study of gnomes. I will no doubt receive abuse from the usual suspects (GORDO, CELESTE, DENIS, GREG, CM) and teasing and sharp remarks and cold and cruel jokes. I can weather this storm, as I managed the whole Unicorn scandal earlier in 2007. I have to warn you, I have been asked to work on dragons and wizards too, which will also bring abuse down on my head from these small minded people (see above all-caps list).
I think we need an appropriately schmaltzy tune for the day. When the missus asks if I lost something important or asks what she is getting for Christmas, I always break out in song, as a gnome would, no doubt. I like to sing Minnie Ripperton's "Loving You' to try and distract the wife. The words go something like this:
'Loving you is easy 'cause you're beautiful....du dun duu du du awwwwww awwwwwwwwww' etc. My thinking is 'what can she say when I am singing such tender things? I bet she forgets the question!'